Aardvarks to Planet X Read online

Aardvarks To Planet X (And other stories)

  By Chris Troman

  Copyright 2016 Chris Troman

  Other books by Chris Troman

  Star Wars Vader's Sister

  S.W.A.T.

  It Might as Well be String Theory

  This ebook is licenced for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favourite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

  Any characters or events portrayed in this book are purely fictitious and any resemblance to real people, businesses, companies or institutions either current or defunct in this universe or any parallel ones is purely coincidental.

  Dedicated to Sue and Alice

  I have to thank my many scientific advisors, if you don't know who you are then I picked your brains successfully, but if you have an inclination that an idle chat with me has somehow made it in some form into my works, then you will have to forgive my less than adroit burglary skills, none the less I salute you.

  Welcome to my first edition of this Hexology (a set of six books, no dark arts ok). In this busy world a short story is just the job to dip in to on those spare moments of your valuable time. Come on a journey through space, time and reality in bite size morsels.

  Kafiristan gazette - an instant classic, novo cuisine in novel form

  Caspak times - Mr. Troman’s genius is unquestionable

  The daily Pellucidar - a truly thrilling roller coaster of a book

  Come on a journey through space, time, death and reality. To learn what it truly is to be human, even when your not. Revel in mankind’s greatest achievements, and bear witness to our darkest hours. Search for life at the ends of the universe, and beyond. Drawing on the inspiration of classic science fiction books, films and television. All set to the backdrop, of a soundtrack for every generation.

  Contents

  A Nightmare in code

  Aardvarks to Planet X

  Advivum

  Appyness

  AGATAC Wrath of God

  A Girl Can't Help Herself

  Another Century of British Rule

  Ambulance Chaser

  The Loyal Lodge

  Albert and Victoria

  Auto Psy

  A Before E

  A Brief Delay Around Calisto

  An End to the World is Nigh

  A is For Alpha

  Angel on a Plane

  Asteroid '49ers

  Alter Idem

  Aggressive Behaviour

  Appointment with Death

  Tale form Another Generation

  Apes Mix the Best Drinks

  Atoll of Doom

  Available now

  Abyss of Infinity

  Another go

  Actions Speak Louder Than

  Attractive Forces

  End Notes

  A Nightmare in code

  Tony flangewood was happily typing away on his tablet, as he sat on the living room floor. He was learning python, a language of the computer. The lines of instructions altered as he added bits here, deleted there, but then it all started altering like some one else was doing it, and his control was slipping away. From the speaker on the back, a slow laconic mid American voice crooned, "We have your passwords, we are in control, we can see your files, and access your accounts."

  Feverishly Tony tried every button but he was locked out, a passive prisoner to this invasion of his property and privacy. He flipped the tablet over and scrabbled for the back, it came loose and soon the batteries were in his hand. But still the voice continued, how could that be? Laconically stating "we are draining account number." It was coming from next to his ear; the stereo was now being utilized in this macabre game of cat and mouse, as he was informed over the airwaves of his electronic dismemberment.

  "We are sending e mails to your friends and loved ones, inviting them to open the virus we've added." He spun the dial but all stations were broadcasting the same laconic message. Diving round the back Tony pulled the plug out, but still the same voice carried on. This time from the television, just a blank screen and his tormentor’s voice. "We have erased your cherished photos from all the electronic devices you own, and wiped your cloud account blank." Tony sank to his knees and sobbed as his world fell apart.

  Then a new voice came out of television. "This is a general announcement by the F.B.I. internet division, the malevolent force you were just listening to has been neutralized." Tony looked up, "all their claims are false, and you have not been hacked, in fact." The voice took on a more jovial tone, "This has been a multi media broadcast from the Mercury Theater wishing you a happy Halloween. And remember, don't have nightmares Tony.

  Aardvarks to planet x

  I first heard it through the screams of hysterical laughter,“Aardvarks to planet x”. It was coming from a roped off area of an exclusive nightclub, Why I was there is not important, a chance mistake on the guest list, I took it and glad I did. It meant I was there right from the start.

  Let me explain, a group of very rich wiz kids were whooping it up and loudly out bragging each other. “I can build a bridge across the Atlantic.” “So I could tunnel strait through the earth.” Each getting louder, then James Conrich the wealthiest wiz kid of them all yelled “Aardvarks to planet x.” The others looked bemused “Waa” slurred one, “talk sense” another. “Well” Conrich reconsidered his statement blinking, “I could make a sky lift to take animals with no ill effects of g force and lower them back on say, the Moon, smooth as you like.” The others just sat and stared, then a babble of “can’t be done”, “impossible”, and “just the booze talking.”

  Incensed by this obvious objection to his claim, he looked at the group with a withering gaze, stood ramrod strait and intoned. “Gentlemen within the year I will do as I have said, and a million bucks says I will.” Then he just sat back down and eye balled each in turn. Jerry, a squat chap put out his hand and laughed. “Your on, I could do with a few new yachts.” They shook hands and then with the ball now rolling, each of the others shook James hand firmly, pledging to honour the bet. That was how I first learnt about the most ambitious project man had embarked on in the history of the world.

  A few weeks later I was flicking through the positions available in the Daily Planet. I like to keep an eye out for a better opportunity, although my job at the university chemistry department paid enough, the work seemed too much of a treadmill. I wanted cutting edge, and I just had safe. Just then an advert caught my eye, James Conrich is seeking fresh ideas in the chemical industry. If you can cut it at the edge of engineering, he wants to see you. There was a phone number, which I immediately dialed. The automated voice began after a couple of rings. "Please state name and university or company attached to." I reeled off the required information, then nonplussed I went to work.

  By mid morning I was engrossed in a tricky problem with covalent bonds between amino acids, when a knock came at my laboratory door. A man in a grey suit was waiting outside, and he asked if I were Doctor Henry Mallow. "Yes I am." Then would I spare some time to have a chat with Mr. Conrich? Startled, I assented and grabbed my coat, and locking up the lab followed him down the hall. He led me to a plain car, one of the new Electro 3000's that Conrich’s factories churn out by the million. Sat in the back, I was driven across town to an impressive office building, and was soon zooming up to the fifteenth floor. My temporary chauffer led me to a closed door and knocked. "Please wait here" he intoned, and departed back down again
.

  The door flew open and my hand was being shaken with vigor, as James Conrich warmly welcomed me in. He was like a Walt Disney of engineering from what I had read. "Doctor Mallow, a pleasure to meet you, sit down." He indicated a luxurious white sofa, which I was soon ensconced on, as he paced up and down telling me what a fine fellow I was. Read my history and knew I was just the man for a job he had in mind. "Have a drink" and he thrust a glass of juice in my hand. I sipped it, while he explained how he had got the car industry all turned round, with his popularizing the electric car. "The thing is to see the whole picture" he stared at me with those warm blue eyes, I agreed and on he went. When he got resistance he just plain fought it, fire with fire.

  "They said my cars were too quiet, they'd sneak up on pedestrians." So he got a team to recreate a muscle car feel. "All that noise and vibration, electronically recreated in one of my zero emission cars." They said the power stations supplying the electricity still burned good old oil. So he looked to the wide-open spaces, bought up plain desert cheep, and installed vast arrays of solar panels. His were the best, based on infrared antenna to collect the power. "Just heat" he laughed. "You know Tesla was on to it way back then, wanted to transmit power through the air. Well some genius got to thinking with that set up I wouldn’t need to send it, just get it free. Spent a lifetime and got nowhere, then I came along and bought the patient.