Star Wars Vader's Sister Read online

Kamino?" replied Ted. Then they stared once more from the window at all the Pac-a-mac clad pedestrians, all in identical white. The boys got a few odd stares themselves, when they took the seaplane to the island, but when Ted told the pilot they were studying farming he seemed satisfied. So off they marched following the directions on Ted's phone.

  As they moved nearer their goal, he zoomed in more until. "There between those rocks", he pointed out a wisp of steam emitting from the crevice, and they clambered in. All of a sudden the path got too steep for the excited lads. With a cry of pain Ralph careered in to Ted, and they began to slide uncontrollably. Rock seemed to slide up past them, and was replaced with metal, as the tunnel became a shaft.

  Ted’s cries resounded off the walls, as they dropped to their doom. When Ted had all but given up, he noticed they were slowing. Looking about he found Ralph actually enjoying the fall. "It must be some sort of force field slowing us", Ted shouted through his fear. Then with a gentle bump they landed on a mesh floor. Taking in their surroundings they noticed there was an access hatch, and carefully peering through it they saw the coast was clear.

  "We should see if we can get some allies", suggested Ted. "I don't fancy tackling a super weapon by ourselves." "There's a map on the wall" pointed Ralph, and he began to look for the detention block, while Ted stood watch, pretending to point a blaster down the corridor. "I can't seem to find one, oh wait a minute, the holding area's on level one one three eight, that must be it". After a high five they cautiously crept down the white corridor, looking for a lift.

  They soon found one and pressed the call button, but when the door slid open Ralph jumped back with a gasp. A storm trooper stood inside, perplexed to meet strangers. Ted thought fast, either grasp the trooper's blaster, or brazen it out. "You there, see to the blockage in storm drain six, it may be the droids we are seeking", barked Ted. Like a charm the white clad figure repeated his orders, before marching off. Amazed Ted turned to Ralph, who was equally at a loss. "Jedi mind trick, or just not too bright" he grinned, and they stepped inside.

  The music on the way down seemed very familiar. They couldn’t help but humming it by the end of the ride, der der der, der, der der, der, der der. Then with a whoosh the door opened and they stepped out. "There’s holding block AA-twenty three", pointed out Ralph. With a new confidence they marched up to the door.It opened on their approach. Then with shock the two lads saw a huge figure, clad as Darth Vader but entirely in white.

  The figure boomed out "I have you in my clutches now". Turning Ted and Ralph realized white clad troopers now surrounded them. "Quick in here", Ralph pointed at the garbage shoot. Ted put his hands on his head in surrender, and with conviction announced, "I'm not going down there, it stinks."

  The impressive figure in the holding cell stepped out, and towered over the lads. Defiant to the last Ted spat out, "you won't turn us to the dark side. We'll never submit to the Sith.” The blank eyed mask tilted slightly then boomed out, "What do you known about the sith-terhood?" "You mean the sisterhood?” ventured Ralph. "Thath what I thed, damth helmeth", and ripping off the mask revealed the proud features of an elderly stateswoman, that made leia look like a spring chicken. "Now exithcute, I mean execute them." Flinching in their final moments Ted cried to his pal, "I'm sorry I dropped you in to this Ralph.” Also cowering, his friend replied "that's ok Ted at least we died trying.”

  Although the sound of blasters still resounded about, they seemed either to be missing them, or had no effect.Getting back up the two lads saw the whole scene take on an unreal look. They were floating in nothingness as a stream of gold flecks wove about them.

  Then an unearthly voice seemed to appear directly in their minds. "Welcome to the twentieth millennium falcon film corporation. What you just experienced was a redundant plot line, where Shmi Skywalker Lars fled from the sisterhood, a fearful force in the universe. Taking her son Anakin in to hiding, while his sister Agatha was raised to become leader of that evil clan. We thought it a bit far fetched.” "You don't fool me" Ted accused the disembodied voice. "What about the super weapon, with it's focal lens under the Bermuda Triangle ?"

  He was surprised by the laugh whirling round his head. "That lens projects the film on to what you would call the sphere at the edge of your universe. This in turn reflects the hologram you might say was the real three-dimensional world you live in. It is in fact an entertainment viewer for my kind."

  "Wait a minute” said Ralph, with more than a hint of suspicion in his voice. "How can this planet projector be making this universe, if it's already in it?" "Have you never heard of a self fulfilling prophecy? We made that up first." Amazed Ted blurted out "did you really make that." With a slight hint of exasperation in that omnibenevolent voice came the reply. "Of course, we made everything in your universe. We at the R.D.V. department, I'm sorry the retro dimension vision department are very proud of this series. You don't know how many Midi-chlorians get pleasure from watching you, watching these films. I'm sure they'll run in to the next millennium. Then I suppose we'll be called twenty first millennium falcon by then."

  Ralph suddenly took on a shrewd demeanor, "You must be making a mint from this series then. Any chance of some extra's fees for us?" There was a chuckle and through a distorted sound of the voice, there came the fading reply. "You reach a point where you don’t work for money."

  Ted woke with a start. He was back in bed, and the weekend had only just begun. “Well it was a nice dream while it lasted,” he mused. Then he noticed two laminated passes that he knew weren't there last night. He picked one up and read the legend; this is to certify that Ted Logan has free entry to any Star Wars film for perpetuity. He quickly dialed Ralph's number, and was soon showing his friend both passes.

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