Aardvarks to Planet X Read online

Turing but unshoruded so to speak, but nowadays I don't know."

  She shook her head. "I think one day a real android may pass the test, then we won't know who's who." Fred dried his hands and snorted. "Well when that day comes there'll be some red faces. After all doesn't this business of unpaid labour strike you as wrong?" Sara rounded on him. "If it wasn't for the health and safety laws trying to reduce agricultural accidents it wouldn't have got to this.

  But your right, I've read uncles toms cabin and under all the rest there's the freedom of the individual, if they finally become sentient." Frank finally put down the towel. "I know, I got that feeling of bile rising in my throat, and then I remembered the civil war.A debt paid back in blood, let just hope it never comes to that." He followed Sara out as she continued. "We humans think of the relationship as superior being and lesser, where the superman must care of those less well evolved." "Very Nietzscheistic, but didn't a young Austrian artist take that thought to a very dark end?"

  "Only if you take the paving stones of good intention and lay them wrong. Anyway if you look how long it's taken us to evolve to where we are, and compare their progress." Frank finished her thoughts. "It makes you wonder who'll be the supermen of the future." Sara shared a knowing look with Frank. "Just see he's alright, but don't let him out. There'd be hell to pay if a unit got lost; we only rent them after all. I'm going to phone the company and see what we can do." Then leaving Frank she strode round to the front.

  Sara made the connection on the videophone and soon got through to professor Shroud's assistant, a pale youth. "Our records show thirteen units should have been shipped out to you. So your numbers tally." "But he claims to be human and the only one on the ranch qualified in the T.S. test is away with a sick relative." The young man looked peeved at this news. "Well it's the only test you've got with out expensive equipment, and don't go damaging it." "Oh no" reassured Sara. "I know the warranty on the units is only for accidental damage, but we can't just let him go, he claims he's got a wedding to attend." "No" the assistant agreed, "can't have an expensive machine just go missing." Sara stared into the screen. "But what if he's really human, think of the law suit if he were to claim for false imprisonment. Can't you administer the test over the video phone?" The man shook his head. "I'm afraid not, television can be deceptive. I couldn't guarantee an accurate result unless I were there in person."

  Just then Frank wondered in. "He says he wants a glass of water, recons he's hung over. And get this, can we drive him back to town. Doesn't that just take the biscuit, as an escape plan the audacity is amazing." Sara turned to the screen. "Can he have water, it's a basic human right, but will it break an android?" The assistant checked his sheets. "No that group has the realistic digestive tract we've been developing. Put unwanted food in one end and out comes fertiliser. Bacteriological action, so water will do no harm."

  "See to it" Sara asked Frank and he rushed off. "While you’re on", continued the technician. "Do you have any problems with hobbying? I mean non profitable pursuits, it's a side effect of the android mind." Sara sighed, "Yes some corn weaving and a little whittling, but I find a firm hand works. I'm not cruel, I know that would be wrong and lowers production. I find singing increases their productivity. The man made a note. "Good, well I can think of nothing until your man gets back", and he rang off.

  Wringing her hands Sara went to see Simon, but only got half way there when she found Frank staggering towards her all covered in dust. "He surprised me. When I'd given him the cup of water he bolted and knocked me flying." Sara full of concern for her human helper strode up to him. "Are you alright? Did he hurt you?" Frank shook his head. "No, just surprised me that's all." Then he brushed the dust off. "He's headed towards the road, shouldn't be to tricky to find." Sara thought, "O.K. you get the tractor and I'll grab my motor bike, but don't hurt him. Either way could be bad." She ran to the bike standing by the front. Kicking it into life Sara sped down the track, to the sound of Fred starting up the tractor.

  Simon was at the end of his tether; these maniacs actually thought he was an android. He had to get to his wedding or Mary would be so upset, it just wasn't fair. "I'll kill that Tony when I get my hands on him", he cried to himself, as Simon stumbled through the dusty field. Off in the distance a motor had started up, dam they had started a pursuit already. He knew he had not done much harm to that man with the water, no sense in getting done for assault but still he just had to get away. Simon was almost out of breath and at his wits end.

  Nowhere to hide and no plan, and then the sound of the motorbike got louder. Simon just sank to his knees crying out. "Just let me go, please", but the unseen hunter kept their distance, and another motor sound heralded more pursuers. "Hold it there fellow, we mean you no harm but you can't just go running off, besides it's miles to town." Sara approached the prostrate figure sobbing in the dirt. If only she could know at this moment if she were staring at a man or a machine. Reaching for his shoulder she remembered a line of the bard. "There is no darkness but ignorance".

  Simon stiffened for he knew these words too. "Shakespeare, I'll give you Shakespeare. If you cut me do I not bleed?" Then taking up a jagged rock, he sliced his palm. Thick red blood splattered on to the dirt. Sara gasped and Frank jumping down pressed a rag to Simon’s hand. "You just bought your freedom pal", and helping him up they returned to the house.

  Simon sat on the porch nursing his bandaged hand, while Sara and Frank fussed about him. He suddenly asked, "now can I get a lift to my wedding?" As if in answer to his question the sound of an electric van pulling up heralded his lift to freedom. "Hey, I got another of your androids in the back" the driver called from the cab. "Looks like it didn't activate when I came this morning."

  Appyness

  The two young men sat smoking over a park table, in the wind swept courtyard. Billy pulling down his sleeve over the cuts; stared hard at Frank. "Take the monarchy, an out-dated concept in the evolution of society. True it's a necessary step away from anarchy, but no longer of use now we have democracy. The Americans don't have kings."

  He stopped to drag on the depleted cigarette, as Frank nodded and shivered simultaneously. “Take the Americans,” he reiterated. "They don't have kings, but Elizabeth. She revels in the merciless slaughter of innocent animals, and you know who else does?" He punctuated the question with his glowing butt.

  Frank just shook his head, "I'll tell you. Kids who grow up to be serial killers, one day they'll find a whole bunch of bodies under Balmoral. It's in her blood stretching back hundreds of years, ancestor after ancestor murderers by proxy. Think about the battle of Hastings. Why didn't Henry just sit down with that Willy of French?" "Norman" cut in Frank. "No I definitely think it was William, so where was I? Why didn't he sit down for a nice cup of tea, possibly some ginger nuts?" "They didn't have ginger nuts in 1066", corrected Frank stubbing out his cigarette. "Oh yea good point." Frank lit another two and passed one over to Billy, now into the swing of Billy’s conversation.

  "Isn't the monarchy is like an economic asset, tourists and that?" Billy's eyes did the briefest of twitches and retorted. "So is Stonehenge, you don't see the druids been given a Christmas day speech slot on the B.B.C." A glazed look came over his eyes. "I bet she'd like that though, all those sacrifices and stuff." Then he continued in a calmer voice. “Let’s go in it's getting too parky", and stubbing out their cigarettes they left.

  Inside the two doctors witnessed this event, but in more ways than the two subjects were aware of. Yes they knew they were on camera, but the whole place was full of those. "It's for your safety" Billy had been told, when he had suggested they were being filmed for Britain’s funniest loonies.

  The two doctors had full sound and vision, but also a read out of vital stress signs. Little tells that gave Billy's and Frank's emotional state, an algorithm of the context of the conversation. The little variant in the intonation of their voices, even the little twitches that the two lads were oblivious to. But more information was both c
oming and going from this clandestine room. Because Billy like all the inmates in the program were encouraged to hum; sing or just choose music in the quiet of their room, with the shiny new smart phone each was presented with.

  It not only gave you access to your favourite tunes, but also could tell from what you were humming or singing what track was on your mind and then join in. It was great. The phone made those moments better, but what Billy and his friends didn't know was that it learnt his favourites, knew what made him happy. When ABBA sang about a memory capturing a heart they weren’t wrong, songs do have a deep rooted healing power. But they could also destroy.

  Today Billy had started phase two. Now his phone knew enough, it was feeding a little of that knowledge back. When Billy’s eyes had unfocused, just at the edge of his hearing he was being played a familiar tune. This time it was walking on sunshine by katrina and the waves, not that he was really aware, it was just loud enough to suggest. Frank was completely unaware of Billy's soundscape, for his own headphone was playing Mr blue skies. A discreet earpiece allowed the wearer to both hear the world around him, but at the same time